When they came to me and said - are you for the Indians or for the aliens?..

And he said - a steak for everyone!

It's all Lithuania's machinations, sedition... Rus' groans! And what's he mumbling about? He walked out of the entrance — the entrance was dark, but the day was bright — and went blind and fell. And it wasn't even slippery; it's a piece of cake for a blind man to fall. You don't even need to trip him.

Then his eyes adjusted and he looked around. His friend K. was standing next to him, standing like a prince — straight upright, hands in his pockets, his gaze drifting over everyone's heads. He shouted at him to pay attention. He didn't hear. Apparently, his thoughts had truly carried him too far. Oh well, he thought, so be it. And he went about his business, but he forgot where he was going. As soon as he fell, he forgot everything. But he wrote a poem. Here it is:

Under a spring ray
Somehow sweating,
I walk as a man
Of the male subspecies,
Towards me walk
More than a hundred maidens
And they salute their libido!

Well... the verse isn't very good, not very good... it could be better. However, it's not the time. So I thought, looking around. Far, far behind me looms the skinny figure of the lanky K. - "He deserves a monument!.." I thought, angrily, even spat. This K. obviously has nothing better to do than soar in high thoughts! Ignore us!

If this is intrigue, machinations, then unleash the dogs on them! Get at them, get at them! He dropped to all fours and barked, loudly, sonorously. As loud as he could. My exalted friend, the one named K., didn't even pay attention, even though he was a hundred paces away... He barked louder, then howled mournfully and scratched his ear with his foot... Well, with his paw now. And then a new poem popped into my head. Naturally, light as a feather. Here it is:

The melancholy is heavy.
The moon is high,
Brothers, understand my restless soul.

I breathe in the spring,
My sides ache,
But I will not break my loyalty.

How pleasant it is to howl! Even more enjoyable than biting. Yes, I even tried biting. And let them not point fingers! Friend K. managed to escape, I wish he would!.. I felt sharp teeth, strong jaws, and something tickled behind me – a tail! Just like with people, like with any decent dog. Pride overwhelmed me, and I wanted to run and jump. Then a kick in the ribs! Well, war is war – with people, like with people... But a tail, after all, is fun and exciting.

Love, like a dream or a flood.
Love, like an icebreaker among ice floes.
And somewhere, indifferently, no doubt,
a rabbi is warming himself by the stove.

I wish I could bite someone, someone indifferent! That would be great. Wow! And the poetry, too, is good! Although, it would be better to write it like this: "An evil rabbi warms his heels by the hot fireplace." Evil as a dog!

He got distracted and almost got run over by a truck. Cruel! And it weighed five thousand kilos! He looked at the black tire – it smelled of rubber, spinning. He spun himself around, like a top. He chased its tail until darkness fell. He was sweating, but he still couldn't catch it, but he bit it. And it hurt so much throughout his body that he immediately fainted. And nearby, someone's soles were stomping, shouting from above: "What's wrong with the man! What's wrong with the man!" K.'s friend leaned over and gave him a friendly pat on the cheek: "Andryusha, what's wrong? Wake up, friend. Oh my god, I've fainted!"

He saw all this through his shaggy eyebrows, stood up, brushed himself off, pushed this K. aside, and trudged sadly away, meaning home.

©1996 Mikhail Dmitrienko Alma-Ata